The Resistance Brief: This week in the fight for justice

Protecting a dream

Blog by Ricardo Martinez (he/him), Executive Director

If I’m being completely honest, I’d like to get married. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be turning 43. I’m the last of my siblings to get hitched and one of the last of my college friend group to have that experience.  

I’ve imagined my mom walking me down the aisle. I want my best friend and fiercest straight ally to be my best man. And, if I’m able, I want to eventually provide a loving home to children who need one or explore assisted reproduction to become a father. 

This dream, only fully available to me in the last ten years thanks to the long-term work of GLAD Law and other advocates, is one that I don’t usually share with many people. I’m grown enough to remember when marriage wasn’t an option for me, so I’ve always tempered my expectations. And while I shouldn’t have to, the reality is that there are times when that dream feels more fragile and less like a sure thing.  

Marriage equality, and thus my dream, should absolutely be safe and secure. It is protected nationwide by sturdy Supreme Court precedent and federal law, as well as by state law and state constitutional guarantees in several states. It also has strong public support because people across all walks of life understand how marriage and family life can be the grounding center of our lives, provide supports that create stability, and give us a sense of community and collective belonging. 

But as symbolic resolutions are introduced in state legislatures, asking the Supreme Court to overturn Obergefell, I can’t help but feel uneasy. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. Many people have expressed worry about what could happen in the future and asked for suggestions on how to protect their relationships. These worries are coming from many quarters – young people with LGBTQ+ parents, siblings, grandparents, other family members, and friends, and of course LGBTQ+ people themselves – because marriage equality touches and benefits entire communities across the country. 

Let me be crystal clear: No state can take your marriage away. These resolutions, should they pass, will not invalidate anyone’s current marriage or prevent same-sex couples from marrying in any state. Any effort to unravel the freedom to marry would be long and difficult. GLAD Law and our partners are committed day in and day out to defend that freedom. 

These brazen antics signal an attempt to pick a fight. Stunts happen in politics, and the media amplifies them, causing sensory overload. But the silver lining of these resolutions is that they remind people about something that deeply matters: families.  

Families are precious, whatever their makeup, and attempts to undermine them ignite our instinct to protect them. And we should – LGBTQ+ families are part of every community. In the end, many members of our community (but certainly not all) are getting married and raising kids, and LGBTQ+ families have hopes, dreams, successes, and struggles like any other. Threats to disrupt families are bad for everyone.  

While I work on creating my family and living out my dream, I feel honored to be able to help protect those families that have already been forged – including my kid brothers’. Six years ago, he got married to a wonderful man in Mystic, Connecticut. Being granted the opportunity to be part of the organization that helped pave that path for him makes me feel like I’ve come full circle in some way – and it also deepens my sense of responsibility.  

As we see so many things shaken up, it is hard not to worry about attempts to shake up marriage equality – symbolic or otherwise. But I know GLAD Law is preparing every day for any possibility. We will be there, with our allies, to defend against any attempt to reverse the Supreme Court’s 2015 marriage equality decision and to protect the dreams of so many like me. 

What to know, what to do: 

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