J.E. Martin & Denise Howard
J.E. Martin (left), 45, and Denise Howard (right), 50, of Stratford, have been a committed couple for 17 years, and are the adoring parents of 10-year-old Rachel and 7-year-old Ross. Like most other families, they’ve shared many joys but have also shared challenges that have been more difficult to navigate without the protections of marriage.
Denise’s father passed away in 2005, and her mother recently moved to a senior housing complex, so Denise pitches in with other family members whenever she’s needed. Like many couples of their generation, J.E. and Denise face the co-issues of aging parents, young children, and an uncertain economy that doesn’t fully protect when one of them faces a job lay-off or economic hardship.
Denise was laid off in August after 11.5 years with HealthNet. Now the couple is re-evaluating their financial situation as J.E. will need to add Denise to her insurance and then incur the additional tax consequences of the imputed income from those benefits for Denise.
J.E. has worked with General Electric for over 23 years, and she’s concerned that her company’s full pension and 401K amounts will not be available to support Denise after her death the same way they would if they were married. She also worries about IRA payout treatment and Social Security benefits not being equal for them should she become disabled or die.
“In trying to plan for the future,” said J.E., “I feel like I need to save twice as much as I would need to if we were married, just to provide my family with a decent amount of financial security. No matter how much I try to provide security for Denise and our children, I can’t plan around discriminatory marriage laws.”
Rachel and Ross are active children who love to spend time with their many relatives, some nearby, and others in Texas. Rachel is involved in Girl Scouts and soccer. Ross also plays soccer with J.E. serving as his team’s coach. Both parents are involved in their children’s school activities like field trips, fundraising, and PTA.
The family is involved in the Metropolitan Community Church in New Haven, where both Denise and J.E. have previously served on the Board of Directors, and J.E. started a Sunday School program.
J.E. and Denise want to marry so that their children will know that their parents’ relationship is as secure and valued in the eyes of the community as the relationships of their friends’ parents, and to be able to take advantage of the legal and financial protections afforded by civil marriage.
“As a family, we have the same routines, and the same joys and concerns, as any other family,” said Denise. “We eat together, go on walks together, do homework together, and argue about bedtimes. But our family does not have the protections and recognition that come with marriage.”