You cannot fully protect your legal relationship to your children unless you take affirmative steps. The good news is that there are affirmative steps you can take in almost every state. Failure to take advantage of these steps creates the significant risk that your child will be unprotected because one of you is not seen as a “parent.” Imagine your child at the hospital and the non-biological or non-adoptive parent shows up first and is denied access to the child needing comfort or medical decision-making. In an emergency, do you want to rely on the mercies of others who may be homophobic or transphobic? If one of you dies, do you want the child placed with extended family members or with the state while the survivor launches a court battle to maintain custody of your own child? You can avoid these outcomes!