A Lucky Man: Drew Carson
“A ship in the harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” “It takes great courage to grow up to be the person you were meant to be.” Sayings like these are meant to inspire, but for a long time, whenever Drew Carson heard or read them they simply reminded him that he wasn’t living an authentic life.
It wasn’t until the 44-year-old Wakefield resident resolved longstanding questions about his gender identity, and began transitioning, that the nagging feeling there was something else he should be doing disappeared. “Now I feel lighter, like that sense of impending regret is completely gone,” Drew says. The general anxiety he was diagnosed with years ago has also notably decreased.
Drew is a Child Support Officer for the state of New Hampshire, a job he began recently after 10 years at the nonprofit Second Start.
The timing of his employment change wasn’t ideal, since he had just decided to begin a course of medical treatment to help his body better conform to his male gender identity. He was forced into the job market when Second Start was underbid for a state contract last February. “I was pretty freaked out at the prospect of job searching so early in my transition, but I’m happy to report that I found a new job right away,” Drew says. “It was a relief to not be out of work as so many folks are.”
He’s also relieved that his transgender status is largely a non-issue at work. “In general people are very respectful and treat me as a male co-worker,” he says.
He is also embracing life as a transgender man. Drew is more inspired to take care of his body, because of the prospect of developing the physique he’s long wanted. He is negotiating a new set of social standards with old friends: should he shake hands or hug male friends now? Hold doors or offer to carry heavy things for female friends? The answers vary depending on the friends. Drew’s primary frustration with transition is the slow development of masculine characteristics—like facial hair and a deeper voice—that come with taking male hormones, which he believes contributes to recurring instances in which he’s referred to with female pronouns.
“I definitely still have days where I’m aggravated about pronouns or I’m impatient about how slow some of the physical changes seem to be,” Drew acknowledges.
While he is negotiating some big changes, other things haven’t changed at all. Drew still enjoys hiking and kayaking, the arts, music and antiques. He is also continuing on his quest to visit all of northern New England’s classic diners.
Drew’s mother has been a great source of support through his transition. She sent a list of male names she liked when Drew decided to change his name, and offered financial support for medical care related to his transition. She is educating herself by reading memoirs by transgender men Chaz Bono and Matt Kailey.
He is aware that his transition and his life as a transgender man have been easier than for many transgender people.
“I grew up middle class with the expectation and finances to go to college and grad school, to work in a professional job with health insurance, to save money,” he says.
Drew also had the resources to pay for expensive transition-related medical care, which enabled him to legally change his identity documents to reflect that he is male. Those documents made his job search easier and prevent unnecessary scrutiny or confusion from government agencies, police, or in other situations where he must provide identification. Such access to proper documentation is out of reach for many transgender people due to discriminatory and outdated state policies requiring surgery.
Having consistent documents, Drew points out, “makes a huge difference in navigating the world as myself—it gives me the legal back up that many transgender people do not have.”