Ed Balmelli grew up in Milford in a large family of six children. Mike comes from an Irish-Catholic family of nine children, most of whom still live in Ayer. Both are godparents to nieces and nephews. They have hosted the Balmelli family for Thanksgiving and summer with the large, extended Horgan family. In 1998, after living together in several locations for almost two years, they bought a house in Jamaica Plain.
They are, by all measures, a loving and committed couple fully engaged with their families. Yet both men feel that even after ten years of family weddings, cookouts, and holidays, they still lack the standing of their married siblings.
"We own a house together, joined the same church and are called 'uncle' by our nieces and nephews," says Ed. "But without marriage, we can't provide the same level of security for one another that our married siblings can."
Ed and Mike have taken the steps they can to protect themselves in a society that doesn't recognize their union -- wills, health care proxies, and 'right as to remains' documents. Nonetheless, both continue to feel vulnerable when they travel or in their everyday life when a sudden accident could challenge the right of either one to be at a hospital bedside or make critical health decisions.
Ed, 44, is a computer engineer with Lucent Technologies, and Mike, 45, is a Computer Systems Administrator. They traveled to Vermont to have a civil union ceremony in October, 2000. This important symbol of their personal bond to one another currently brings no additional rights, benefits or protections in Massachusetts.
Ed and Mike were married on May 17th at the Copley Marriott. They were joined by family and friends.
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